Wednesday, 1 August 2012


NRR Long:
Where to start? Well judging by the number of SMS I received while still in the cop shop , there's something many of you want to know about, so let's start with that story.

The most important things first, I'm uninjured, I believe there weren't any serious injuries in the bunch, but there may have been a crash at some point, and finally my bike is injured.

We were rolling down the highway, two abreast, chatting. It was a Wednesday so all that is bang on par for the course. Ahead I heard someone exclaim and then saw a few riders swerve to go around an obstacle, I figured it was maybe something from a pocket. Then I saw Skinny launch off the side of the bunch, across lanes of slowing traffic and start abusing a 4WD full of teenagers. It took a moment to realise what I'd swerved around hadn't come from a rider's jersey, but rather from a passing motorist.

Life got back to normal after the lights went green and the car drove off, two up, rolling down the highway chatting, though now the general conversation was skewed towards wankers in cars. Behind I heard something smash and looked up to see the same 4WD driving past. A few took off from the bunch in pursuit, but to no avail.

Further down the road, just before Oak Av they came past again, the same people who'd been abusing and hurting my friends. I took off in the left lane, drawing level with the rear bumper I paused, changed my chain over into the big ring, then started up the passenger side of the car. The front passenger was leaning out the window jeering, I glanced down and noticed something squarish and white or grey in his hands, I figured it was a milk carton or something, then as got up beside he pushed it out at me and I felt a solid *THUNK* on my front wheel, then my rear wheel popped up over it. It wasnt a carton of milk, it felt and sounded like half a cinder block. Seeing red I gave chase to the accelerating car. Ahead I saw them pull into the service road and I followed. Those fucking cowards were likely hiding down a side street to watch us go past again, I swore I'd seen them do it earlier, this time I was convinced and knew it to be a chance to physically engage them.With the fire of righteous hate still burning strong I was called off by Skinny and a small bunch rolling past. It took him a few calls of my name, but eventually I jumped some gutters and popped back out onto the freeway. Looking down I could see a gouge filled with stone dust on my forks.

Over Lower Dandenong Road, they once again came past and nothing could stop me from going after them again. "Come back here" I signalled to them, "I can't hear you" I motioned with a face as calm as I could make while trying to give off "I just want to chat" vibes. I was doing everthing to get them back within range of my fury. To my joy they slowed and with a bit of lateral space I drew up beside them, the front passenger again leaning out the window, this time brandishing a thin Phillips head screwdriver. Gone was all my thoughts that these were just kids in mum's car having fun. Gone were all feelings that this could be resolved in any way. I told them repeatedly that the cops had been called and stayed the fuck away from the swinging point of the screw driver.

That's it, I rode on to Two Bays, discovering the second gouge in my down tube and the damage to my wheels at the top of Two Bays Rd. I rolled home to pick up some ID then into the Prahran cop shop to give a statement. A call later on tells me the car was stolen (duh) and the people inside were wanted for a string of robberies that morning. It seems Skinny and I were the two people who'd been close enough to see them and thus help identify them. So maybe.... maybe they might be apprehended, rather than as I feared after my statement, have the report filed and never looked at.

Now, NRR Long. I'm a beast on the hills. Strava tells me I set my best time on Canadian Bay Rd, at the time it felt "easy", heh "easy". I topped it with a decent heart rate, but the middle section that normally has my legs on fire rolled nicely leaving me plenty of strength to kick past all bar the front 3 riders up the last pinch. I sadly couldn't get on to AJ, Joel (see last week) and my Evolution Cycles mate from the Helly (see last Saturday). A train of TKM riders caught me going up Two Bays, but I managed to kick and get on them, coming past most as the road took the last turn and levelled slightly, narrowly missing the PB I set last week.

Again the flat ride home stretched me to my limits, a train of TKM blokes pushing my hamstrings to exhaustion. To be honest I was almost relieved when my front tyre went flat coming through Brighton, I could stop trying to hold wheels with no shame of failure.

Strava link.

Time at work: 10:56am

D: 94.9km
A: 522m

I was amused to see a full moon as I rolled home. Perhaps it's confirmation bias, but I'm starting to truly believe that people are crazier when the full surface of earth's satellite reflects the sun back at us.

D: 14.6km
A: 267m

PMPW: 92kg


Cycling Jobin said...

And what massive sprint you pulled out to catch the car, good practice for the kilo

Steve Caddy said...

Fucking hell man. The adrenalin dump when someone attacks you from a car and chase is give is frightening in and of itself.

Stay safe out there.

Mak said...

spark plugs punch through windows really nice.... have been known to carry one or two on my person whilst riding over the last 20yrs.... Got to love gutless fucks in cars with weapons..... fucken pricks! Lucky you didnt go down the side street cause you might have ended up with a few holes punched in you!

mars said...

Fuck me, what is going on Big Neil, there is more mental going on out there, so glad you and the boys are ok.

Hope they get those fuckers.

In that situation next time, being an Mtbkr from way back you will always have a multi tool in your pocket which can be thrown in defence to great effect, also the mini pump in your fist, again as defence only can pierce the cheek very easily.

Never attack, and if you can't run fom a psycho you can only defend yourself.

Sorry man, just angry reading what happened to you boys.

neil said...

thanks for the support guys, hopefully the nice police lady from CIT who called me that afternoon will call back to say we're golden and they've been apprehended and charged.